Minecraft Bible Stories

I decided that it would be neat to adapt some Bible stories to a Minecraftian context so that they might be easier for a modern audience to relate to, or something like that (please note that this will make no sense if you are not already familiar with Minecraft)...

The Story of the Sinful Griefer


Notch came to a server in Mount of Olives, where the Yogscast took him to a griefer that they had found destroying his neighbor's house. They said unto him, 'Notch, this Minecrafter was caught in the very act of taking apart his neighbor's house.'
But Notch, as if he had not heard them, placed a sign and wrote upon that sign. Then he said unto the gathered peoples, 'Let he who has never taken wood from his neighbor's house cast the first vote to kick.' And then they left him. He then said to the griefer, 'Who are your accusers?' The griefer replied, 'No one.' And thus Notch said, 'Then go forth, but never grief again.'


The Parable of the Sower

Notch said, 'Behold, there went out a sower to sow: And it came to pass, as he sowed, some fell by the way side, and the birds of the air came and devoured it up. And some fell on stony ground, where it had not much earth; and immediately it sprang up, because it had no depth of earth: But when the sun was up, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away. And some fell among thorns, the thorns grew up, and choked it, and it yielded no fruit. And other fell on good ground, did yield fruit that sprang up and increased.

'I am the sower, and you are the seeds which I sow whenever you download Minecraft. Those who fall by the way side are those who listen to the word of Israphel, and become griefers. Those who fall on the stony ground are those who at first listen and play Minecraft often, but then lose interest when an update takes a while to come out and leave Minecraftia forever. Those that are smothered by thorns are those that try to balance Minecraft and another game, but eventually give up Minecraft for this other game and their accounts wither away. Those that grow on good land find good servers are productive in them, building many things and spreading the Word of Notch.'


Love the Creeper


Notch sssaid to the assembled Yognaughts, 'Love the Creeper, for where it explodes fresh grass may grow.'
But the Yogscast said unto Him, 'Why should we love the Creeper, for the Creeper has destroyed many buildings and is a servant of Israphael.'
Notch then said unto them, 'The Creeper is enslaved by the Evil One, and it is thus your duty to spread the Word of Notch and free the Creepers.'*


*I got the idea to write this from one of Boris Johnson's less successful campaigns, Hug a Creeper.

-PWN-